lydia (leedeeya)
07 january 1992
13 going on 14
6B-2004, 104-2005
ex marymount convent school gal
current rafflesian(RGS)
librarian, chinese dancer AVA/PA , guides =)
RGS GUIDES 010203
2nd coy SUNFLOWER :)
recently have been transferred to 2nd coy orchid :(
loves
my seniors, my primary school, my frens(esp. weiling, germaine, mavis and JG),animals(i HATE sum bugs ok!),guidesnot so much anymore.lolx, waddle, topaz, S.H.E , Singapore, being crazy, NANNY!!!! being a christian :)
hates
idiotic pple, no so nice teachers, pple hu insult nanny wadsoever, proud pple, pple hu dun treasure frenship, some bugs, pple hu insult my frens, unreasonable pple, pple hu are just plain irritating
wishlist
a crumpler bag (nice one)
a nice ROXY bag
P6B blog to be completed or have one put up :)
P6B class gathering somewhere!!!
to get contactsand that nice specs that i want
samsung flip phone(nice one)
to be a devoted christian
doggy id tag + new collar for pebbles
to do a good job as class helper for the children's camp in november
more time to create more nice templates to use =D
more neoprints
another BIBLE :)
my OWN digital camera
my OWN laptop/notebook(comp NOT bk)
keychains...keychains...KEYCHAINS!!!!preferrably nice nice NICE ones frm overseas XD*EVIL*
to go and watch cirque du soleil EVERYTIME they cum XD XD XD
will try and update to a simpler version (if possible though highly unlikely) to facilitate gethsemanie...
Saturday, July 16, 2005
wondering where to start this darn entry of mine, its gonna be full of rubbish, hatred of myself, bad stuff ...the usual...blah. yars. having mood swings. more often now...compared to last time when i think that i have none.yars.no....i never had any mood swings last time...was kinda cheery... crazy... yar. mabbe cuz i am disappointed in myself. i am SO terribly disappointed in myself...for pissing pple off...for making pple sad... for creating lotsa trouble... for doing so bad in exams... for slacking and not working hard enough... for this... for that. lots of things that cuz me to have mood swings. yars. budden i want to thank all my darling fwens for staying by my side all the while... bearing with me when i have mood swings... dunno whether it was obvious. i alwaes love to keep things inside me...secrets, problems, depression, questions, ...etc. i bottle up all these, i keep them to myself...cuz i have no one to share with, i dun even feel like telling my closest frens most of the time...only occasionally then i share a few minor ones. i feel that no one can lend a listening ear... all of them are so private... carn share them somehow. even if they are not pivate, i still dun share them, as i said...i dun think that anyone can lend me a listening ear. no one seems to share all my interests...sheesh.my best fren is in another school. she has the same interest as me..well most of em. budden she is away frm me.sigh. no one seems to like wad i like...only sometimes someone has the same interest as me. kaes lets see....
i like guides...cuz its fun... budden no one believes this.ok. not NO ONE budden my fwens dun think that its fun. i dunno y...issit me being overly sensitive abt this or wad. is like i am starting to think that i am deceiving myself... A LOT! wells... i think guides is only fun because my frens are there... to play with me, to have fun with me...etc. budden they dun like guides and are planning to quit next year. the problem is that.... they dun think guides is fun.okies i noe that u all dun want to be in guides and were forced in.(heys...i was forced in too yar noe...) budden at least try and have all the fun you can get in guides. try and have a positive attitude...yar? dun be like me...hu alwaes have negative attitudes in my life. wadever. i think i will die if my 2 bestest frens in guides leave me next year, cuz they want to quit. sigh...neber mind. i have a problem with my social circle. when i make frens with someone...i usually "close" my social circle and hardly make new frens after that...yesh. that happens to me all the time, so i dun have a wide circle of frens.... to others... i do NOT encourage this type of attitudes and pls dun follow me...you will regret it... i am trying to change... but i think i got worst. yars. why carn anyone in my level enjoy guides as much as i do. i wish that i could just perish ... just pop and disappear. then no one will suffer cuz of me and my stupid self.
okies...i am in a horribly bad mood now. and just a few moments ago...i was happy....that i could use the comp...now... i am feeling pessimistic and full of hatred for myself(watch me and my mood swings...lalala) great. shall stop for a while then. have to relax... have to watch wad i sae and do(i dun wan to create any more problems for anyone anymore) i want to cry it all out... budden i have no more tears to shed anymore. i am full of problems. i am very confused and frustrated rite now. pulling my hair out and asking myself...just WHO the heck am i and what am i doing here on this earth. i cause nothing but trouble. pple have their frens...they all share the same interests and thus have lots of fun together. wadever i do, i forced myself to do it. hoping to please pple but i cause more trouble, more unhappiness, more suffering in others. i caused so much pain. so much hatred.wadever i do causes trouble.some one tell me....wad am i on this earth. why do i deserve such wonderful frens and seniors. i feel that i have disappointed many pple and i have no face to see you all ever again. shalll thank pple.
to my seniors: cherie, michelle, liling, chermaine, rachel, michelle(tan)...etc.
thank you all for caring for me, teaching me stuff, helping me, have fun with me...etc. thank you all for being so nice and loving and caring. thank you all for your guidiance and helping me have a positive image abt guides and letting me enjoy having camps and outdoor cooking and this and that...etc. thank you all so much and i dun noe what else i can do or sae to replay you all for wad you all have done for me. yes. thank you all:) love you all too. sry for all the trouble that i have caused all of you. thank you all for bearing with all my nonsense and stuff. so sry... thank you all so much for everything that you have done for us.
to my frens: germaine, weiling, lathiga, mavis, jolene gwee..etc.
thank you all for making me feel loved and helping me to cheer up when i am sad, thank you all for bearing with me in wadever i do and sae. thank you all for having fun with me and helping me in wadever i do. thanks for being so much fun and being a HUGE part of my life. thank you all for being my dearest frens and even though we did have our quarrels and tiffs every once in a while. you all still forgave me and we still had lots of fun together. thank you all so much for being my frens and you gals are the BESTEST!!!!!! i noe i keep repeating and saying all the usual stuff but i carn help it. i am so grate ful to all of you for being in my life and helping me with everything. thank you thank you thank you.
okies. i am done with all these. i neeeeeeed to gvet off the comp now... i neeeeeeeed my shower...i feel really hot now and i dun feel comfortable. so i shall go now. byee!
together-forever ; let's be friends forever =)
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